May 13, 2014
Post Traumatic Baby Syndrome; Why All New Mums Should Be in Therapy
Motherhood; otherwise known as growing and pushing out a small human from a teeny, tiny hole in your body, followed by weeks of recovery whilst pretending you are coping and will be back into your skinny jeans and social life quicker than you can say contraception.
It makes you doubt your sexuality, destroys your body confidence, strips you of your independence and thrusts sole responsibility of another human’s life into your novice hands. All on just three hours of broken sleep during one of the most isolating times of your life.
Is it therefore, any wonder that we all go a bit mental after going through it?
Unfortunately, once you have dragged yourself through the event, instead of you and your swollen vagina being sent away to recover, you are instead catapulted back into the “real” world. A world where nothing is the same as before and is instead one where you are expected to host an array of eager visitors all whilst looking your best and claiming that becoming a mum is the best thing that has ever happened to you. That despite enjoying less sleep than a vampire on speed coupled with the fear your vagina is going to prolapse if you get up and make one more bloody cup of tea, you are in fact, feeling on top of the world, on top of the house work and on top of keeping this tiny human alive. Oh and you’re also feeling hornier than ever and you and your post baby vagina just can’t wait to get your partner back in the sack to celebrate the beauty of pro creation!
What all mums are really suffering from in these early days of motherhood is Post Traumatic Baby Syndrome. Therefore, what we really need instead of lines of visitors all proffering cashmere blankets, petit Dou dous and Sophie Giraffes, is the number of a good psychiatrist. Just imagine the bliss of an hour per week entirely for us, where we get to vent our deepest, darkest fears and anxieties to a complete stranger who is a) not going to judge us or b) ask for another God damn biscuit. A place where it doesn’t matter what we look like or how much we cry, rant or laugh with hysteria. Somewhere, that doesn’t involve us whipping out a boob or a wet wipe but instead a place where we can enjoy the unadulterated indulgence of being our no holds barred self for the first time since becoming a mum.
You may scoff and take the line that having a baby is the most natural thing in the world, women have been doing it for years and it’s only the pampered and “precious” few who need to indulge themselves with this sort of help. However, if this is you, all I can say is “Up yours!” Women have been suffering with the same post natal issues for years and it’s this “shut up and put up” attitude that has kept them suffering in silence and “making do” to the detriment of their mental health and the long term wellbeing of themselves and their babies.
With 1 in seven women diagnosed with a post natal illness in the UK, it raises the debate that if post baby therapy was as common place as attending the local Mother and Baby Group” and if talking about post natal illness was as acceptable as discussing feeding schedules, women would be better aided for the first challenging months of motherhood and be better equipped to spot the warning signs of post natal illness.
The truth of the matter is that motherhood does turn us all slightly crazy at times and more importantly it is no bloody wonder! My problem is that instead of facing this head on and all admitting it, we instead take on the mantle of ‘supermum’ when really behind closed doors we are having melt downs at least several times a day and feeling overwhelmed about ourselves and our new mum shaped lives.
There is no woman out there who has gone through the life changing and shit scary ordeal of bringing a tiny human, kicking and screaming into the world that can hand on heart say they have not thought at least once that they are losing their mind whether it be the result of one of “those” days or the early signs of post natal illness. Therefore, isn’t it about time we stop all the “We’re coping” bullshit and do something about it?
Want to discuss how you are feeling about becoming a mum, warts and all, NO JUDGEMENT? Come and join the No Bullshit Mum Revolution and pop into The Confessional to chat to other like minded and straight talking mums. You can also join the closed Facebook Group by sending your email address to firstname.lastname@example.org – The more straight talking mums the merrier!
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